almost D day. .

Dear readers: 

Today is December 8, 2010, in six days I will depart from Inchon Airport via airplane and travel 8,000 miles back to the US of A. I know my time here hasn't been the longest, but still I can feel a self transformation. In my mind, I'm sure all of you want to hear me say how great my trip has been and how wonderful everything was, but truthfully its been a rough and long road. I'm not saying it has been negative or that I regret living here; however, making this trip has given me a little or actually a huge bite (not just a taste) of how the "world" really is. I also would like to say how grown up I have become, but I'm confident in saying that I still have much more to learn and much more to experience. On the positive side, I have grown up in some areas by being here. For one, back at home I hated to go out by myself, even if it was just a 10 minute trip down their road. Now I'm sure you all are familiar with Seoul being a city, and Mechanicsville is just a little suburb. After Jennifer left and I was basically on my own, I realized that one i stepped out of the door (or elevator if you will), I would have a quick smack in the face, because I knew that all I had was my own 2 feet. Of course there are subways, taxi's, and buses. However, at that time. . i really had no clue of how to use one or all of those, so I just walked. I'm not the type of person that figures out everything right away, or even tries to figure it out. So after a couple of weeks, or maybe even a month, I learned that unless I actually tried and wasn't afraid of letting go. . .I knew nothing was going to change. So at first I would start taking the subway to certain places, and then grew the courage to take a cab, and just recently I have been successfully taking buses. After getting lost a few, or actually many times...I came to the conclusion that getting lost is how we learn. No one knows anything perfectly right away, just because I got lost doesn't mean everyone else didn't make the same mistake before. Basically, I found that I just needed to let go and be a little vulnerable to these basic things in life. Taking a bus or subway may seem like a minimal thing, but to me it was my way of transportation to everywhere, and I knew that walking was not my only option. Even though I'm happy about accomplishing this fear, I know there is still more to learn...more places I haven't explored, and more ways of getting around S Korea I have never taken. So in this way I am to still grateful to have survived all my mistakes, and I am eager to learn more. This is just one lesson I have learned from being here and living on my own. Of course I love my parents and family, but I know that if I always depend on them...I wont learn anything on my own. Even though other people make mistakes, and we get to witness that.....it still doesn't have a powerful affect unless we ("I") get to experience for our own. I have learned this quite often, it really does make a difference when you go through something on your own rather than hearing it from a friend or watching a family member make the same mistake. Over all, through the bad and good I have witnessed and experienced here in S Korea, I am still proud of myself and thankful to God, my family, and for those readers and those still praying for me. I love you all, and when I get back. . I will have more to share and pictures to show. I would like to write more, but I think I'll save that story for the next time... hehe anxious to know?? welp if you are, that means you must keep waiting and watching for my next post.

Sincerely,
Ashley McD.